"Some Nikkei are biding their time; one or two more years and they can get a Japanese passport. That might be a ticket to somewhere: Canada, Australia, America. Or just going home, wherever that is. Japan might not be the final resting place.
Nikkei on the move. I might meet you on a train in Bangladesh, a marketplace in Algiers, a sauna in Stockholm, atop a mesa in Hopi country, online at CafeCreole. I'll say Wagahai wa Nikkei de aru. Are you?"
From "Circle K Cycles" by Karen Tei Yamashita. I never actually read the entire book (it's non-linear, with parts in Portuguese and Japanese) and now it's sitting in a box at my mom's house, but I don't think any other single book has done more for my understanding of myself as Nikkei. Go figure all the books about little middle-class Japanese American girls I was raised on never struck a chord with me and suddenly I found myself relating to this book about Japanese Brazilian migrant workers in Japan, years before I even began to dream of coming here. Now here I am in Niigata. The Nikkei journey isn't linear, it's circular.
My New Year's resolution for 2011 is to read 50 books in English and one book in Japanese. Maryann is doing the same thing until July (and blogging it!) and I think my buddy Matt is going to go for it too. I did it once before, in 2007... I've lost the list, but that was the year I read most of Isabel Allende's books, as well as most of my feminist reading (I read "The Feminine Mystique" over winter vacation 2006 and that set me off).
This time the goal is to prepare myself for an eventual job search in the literary world. My three categories of focus are classics, genre/popular fiction, and books by San Francisco publishers. Really I feel like I need to read far more than 50 books to be well-read, but I'm trying to learn a language too and there are only so many hours in the day.
A friend sent me this great New York Times article about San Francisco's literary scene, of which my favorite part is the guy reading his way through a breakup by devouring "Tropic of Cancer" in one sitting in a cafe in North Beach. I don't want to admit it but this might also be what I'm trying to accomplish here. ("Tropic of Cancer," by the way, is an excellent book to read yourself through a breakup, but that's in a box at my mom's house too. Womp womp.)
I'm not starting the count until January 1, but I've read about a book a week for the past month. Right now I'm reading "The Sailor Who Fell from Grace with the Sea" by Yukio Mishima. (This is probably not a good book to read yourself through a breakup.) I'm hoping it will be easy to keep the momentum.
Isn't this great? I'm going to print it out and hang it on my wall.
12.20.2010
12.12.2010
Maru and batsu.
Twice each year, across Japan, thousands of gaijin from all over the world converge on prefectural institutions and universities to sit the Japanese Language Proficiency Test. The test-takers are incredibly diverse--in my room of people taking the N4 (second to lowest out of 5 levels), there were people from the US, China, Vietnam, Indonesia, Korea, the UK, and India. The Japanese people fielding this sudden influx of foreigners are generally good-natured about it and take it in stride, and there are all kinds of helpful signs posted with furigana, English, and illustrations. Still, I have to wonder what particular nationality of gaijin the good folks at Niigata University had in mind when they felt the need to explain this concept:
On a tangentially related note, in my 23 years of experience fielding dumbass comments about my ethnically ambiguous appearance, this is far and away the winner: "No, no, you don't look that Japanese. I can easily tell that you're American, even before you talk. ....Oh, but I'm not saying you're fat or anything."
Never change, Japan.
On a tangentially related note, in my 23 years of experience fielding dumbass comments about my ethnically ambiguous appearance, this is far and away the winner: "No, no, you don't look that Japanese. I can easily tell that you're American, even before you talk. ....Oh, but I'm not saying you're fat or anything."
Never change, Japan.
12.07.2010
So my blog has a new name, courtesy of some lovely folks in Joetsu. Yosh is the nickname for Yoshikawa, where I live. One friend pointed out that in the English language you can use the construction ANY NOUN YOU WANT + ED to express drunkenness, as in, "I was so totally car doored last night" or "Let's go out and get completely gazeboed!" Not long after that, another friend sent a facebook message asking if we wanted to get Yoshed. We get Yoshed every weekend. HELLA Yoshed.
This, obviously, drops the "Angeleno" part from my blog. Fuck LA. I have no idea how I lived there for six months without even realizing how totally, constantly, unflaggingly miserable I was. With very few exceptions (hi, Kelsey and Brijana! hi, Gene!), my only friends in LA were people who lived in New York and Texas (and another!), in Canada and Niigata and Australia and North Carolina and the UK. These are the awesome people who applied to JET with me, and we had some awesome IRC nights that kept me sane while I was in LA. We all made it and now we all live in Japan, and we don't talk as often anymore (I stopped going to the website we met on in an attempt to increase my productivity), but I think it says something that I enjoyed their text-based company more than that of any real, live person I met in LA.
Anyway, this is just to say that I am not dead. Will post more as soon as I have time and something to talk about!
This, obviously, drops the "Angeleno" part from my blog. Fuck LA. I have no idea how I lived there for six months without even realizing how totally, constantly, unflaggingly miserable I was. With very few exceptions (hi, Kelsey and Brijana! hi, Gene!), my only friends in LA were people who lived in New York and Texas (and another!), in Canada and Niigata and Australia and North Carolina and the UK. These are the awesome people who applied to JET with me, and we had some awesome IRC nights that kept me sane while I was in LA. We all made it and now we all live in Japan, and we don't talk as often anymore (I stopped going to the website we met on in an attempt to increase my productivity), but I think it says something that I enjoyed their text-based company more than that of any real, live person I met in LA.
Anyway, this is just to say that I am not dead. Will post more as soon as I have time and something to talk about!
10.01.2010
My favorite students
There's a kid at my visit school who stood out the first day I taught there. He's sannensei, the oldest grade I teach, about 15 years old. Besides rocking a Japanese fro, he also has the most awkward little squeaky high-pitched voice and crossed eyes. I had the kids fill out name tags with their favorite foods and hobbies that first day, and while most of them struggled to produce things like "sloop," "beseball" and "play fishing," this kid carefully and specifically wrote "taking pictures of trains" and then checked the spelling with me. He is possibly the nerdiest kid I have ever met.
Anyway, yesterday this kid came into the staffroom with a book and proceeded to squeak at the JTE for about ten minutes while pointing at the book and at me. Eventually it came out that he's studying for an optional standardized English test and wanted to practice with me. I agreed to stay for half an hour after school, and somehow another student got roped into the lessons as well. They basically wanted to be able to practice talking with a native speaker for the interview portion of the test. The other student was a boy who I already liked because he also seems to try hard in English class. He's tall and pretty good-looking, although he's always the only one in his uniform when the other kids are wearing PE clothes, and he made the sentence "It's hard for me to run fast" for an exercise the other day (unlike the other students, I think he tries to actually communicate instead of pulling words out of his ass in hopes that it will fit the grammar point). Nerd Boy referred to him as "my friend" but I'm not sure if that's just because that's the only word they've been taught for "classmate." They're an odd pair but they seem to get along all right. Cool Kid is taking the Level 3 test, which is the level kids should ideally be at by the time they finish junior high school. Nerd Boy is taking the Level 2 test, which is where they should be when they finish high school. I have no idea why.
Anyway, first I asked Nerd Boy to tell me about his hobby. Cool Kid started clawing at his face and sighing, though I'm not sure if it was because he didn't understand or because he was like "oh GOD lady don't get Nerd Boy started on TRAINS." But because it was the first question and they hadn't quite warmed up yet, all he had to say on the subject was, "Each train has a different face. I like to see them." (Not sure how literally I was meant to have taken this.) I then had to repeat the question "Have you ever been to another country?" about 10 times for Cool Kid, but each time he said "Sorry... one more time?" instead of "EHHH WAKANNAI MURIMURIMURI," which in and of itself was a nice change. Pretty soon we were discussing San Francisco, Obama, natto (Cool Kid loves it; Nerd Boy hates it), J-drama and the pros and cons of living in the country vs the city. Cool Kid asked me what I thought of the JTE, and I dodged the question, but Cool Kid had no problem telling me he didn't think he was a good teacher. To me, he's a really nice guy and easy to work with, which contributes to this being my favorite school overall, but I can only imagine that for the rare Japanese kid who is actually interested in learning English, he must be a bit frustrating. It was the first time I actually felt I was serving a purpose by being here.
So the test is in two weeks, and until then I'll stay after school once a week for interview practice.
Other students who brighten up my day:
Anyway, yesterday this kid came into the staffroom with a book and proceeded to squeak at the JTE for about ten minutes while pointing at the book and at me. Eventually it came out that he's studying for an optional standardized English test and wanted to practice with me. I agreed to stay for half an hour after school, and somehow another student got roped into the lessons as well. They basically wanted to be able to practice talking with a native speaker for the interview portion of the test. The other student was a boy who I already liked because he also seems to try hard in English class. He's tall and pretty good-looking, although he's always the only one in his uniform when the other kids are wearing PE clothes, and he made the sentence "It's hard for me to run fast" for an exercise the other day (unlike the other students, I think he tries to actually communicate instead of pulling words out of his ass in hopes that it will fit the grammar point). Nerd Boy referred to him as "my friend" but I'm not sure if that's just because that's the only word they've been taught for "classmate." They're an odd pair but they seem to get along all right. Cool Kid is taking the Level 3 test, which is the level kids should ideally be at by the time they finish junior high school. Nerd Boy is taking the Level 2 test, which is where they should be when they finish high school. I have no idea why.
Anyway, first I asked Nerd Boy to tell me about his hobby. Cool Kid started clawing at his face and sighing, though I'm not sure if it was because he didn't understand or because he was like "oh GOD lady don't get Nerd Boy started on TRAINS." But because it was the first question and they hadn't quite warmed up yet, all he had to say on the subject was, "Each train has a different face. I like to see them." (Not sure how literally I was meant to have taken this.) I then had to repeat the question "Have you ever been to another country?" about 10 times for Cool Kid, but each time he said "Sorry... one more time?" instead of "EHHH WAKANNAI MURIMURIMURI," which in and of itself was a nice change. Pretty soon we were discussing San Francisco, Obama, natto (Cool Kid loves it; Nerd Boy hates it), J-drama and the pros and cons of living in the country vs the city. Cool Kid asked me what I thought of the JTE, and I dodged the question, but Cool Kid had no problem telling me he didn't think he was a good teacher. To me, he's a really nice guy and easy to work with, which contributes to this being my favorite school overall, but I can only imagine that for the rare Japanese kid who is actually interested in learning English, he must be a bit frustrating. It was the first time I actually felt I was serving a purpose by being here.
So the test is in two weeks, and until then I'll stay after school once a week for interview practice.
Other students who brighten up my day:
- An ichinensei at my other visit school who's as cute as a button (he reminds me of Ben at that age) and greeted me with "OH NO! MY COLA!" the first time I taught his class. Today I made them draw cats for a "How many?" lesson and he presented me with Kirin-Cat, the best of the bunch.
- A ninensei at the same school who hates English and always disrupts class, but does it in the most entertaining possible way for me. During my self-intro he was dancing instead of listening to me, so when it was his turn to be asked a question I asked him "Do you like... DANCING?!?!?!" and imitated his moves. He turned bright red and mumbled "noIdon'tlikedancing". The next week he wasn't reading along with his group, so I did the "I'm watching you" gesture and he and a special ed student absolutely lost it and would not stop doing the gesture to each other and me for the rest of the day.
- Two sannensei girls in Dreamy Sensei's homeroom class at my base school who led all the sports day cheers and are attached at the hip. One of them has a boy haircut, is confident and outgoing, and doesn't like English but likes America and wants to travel there. The other one likes English and is more shy and giggly. They're adorable and make me wish I had a best friend like that at their age.
- A kid in the same class who I have resolved not to pay attention to because he is SO disruptive, but who absolutely cracks me up with his antics. Last week I taught him the phrase "Calm down!" and now I remind him of it whenever possible. A really quiet kid who sits in the row behind him wrote "I am sad to see Mr. Minami" for an assignment, and when I asked him who Mr. Minami was (I assumed it was a teacher), he pointed to him. I think that's worth a sticker.
9.12.2010
Overheard at the enkai
Enkai is a drinking party for coworkers. I will make a real post at some point but this one, um, really highlights the cultural differences I am up against. Or the hardships of Katakana English. Or the fact that I work with crazy people. Or.... something.
***
Math teacher: blah blah blah stuff in Japanese I don't understand and am not really listening to
Young social studies teacher: blah blah blah
(Suddenly, he pulls up his shirt to show the math teacher his rock hard abs. I turn away and make a "WTF JUST HAPPENED" face. Everyone at the table laughs their ass off at me. Also, this entire conversation happened before any alcohol was consumed)
Everyone: Hahaha! We scared Elizabeth-sensei! Hahaha!
SS teacher: Heso!
ALT: Eh?
SS teacher: Heso! Heso! What is this in English?!
ALT: Oh. Belly button.
SS teacher: Eh? Velly botan?
ALT: Belly button. Like this button (pointing to a button on my sweater)
SS teacher: Velly?
ALT: Belly. B. B!!
Math teacher, returning from restroom: sup guys
SS teacher: This is English classroom! We are learning BELLY BUTTON!
Math teacher: Oh, berry! Like strawberry!
ALT: NO! BELLY! This is your belly!
SS teacher: I thought that was.... waist?
ALT: Um, well, yeah, that too, but...
Everyone at table: Very! Velly! Berry button! Belly button? Velly button! Hahahaha! Very button!
PE teacher at the next table: omg what is wrong with you people
(after giving a speech)
JTE: Does anyone have a question for Elizabeth-sensei in English?
(two teachers' hands shoot up)
JTE: Yes, Marumaru-sensei?
Random teacher whose name I don't know and who I have never spoken to before and will probably never speak to again: DO YOU HAVE BOYFRIEND?!
ALT: I have TEN boyfriends!
Random teacher: (pointing to self) Number eleven! Number eleven!
SS teacher: Number twelve!
JTE, trying to save me from the awkward situation: Then, Social Studies-sensei?
SS teacher: Ah, umm, eto ne.... same question!
ALT: fu
(after recieving a plate of sashimi)
SS teacher: This is SHII-RU sashimi!
ALT: WHAT? Seal?!
SS teacher: Yes, yes, SHII-RU!
ALT: You're joking!
SS teacher: No! Please believe me!
ALT: Seal? Really? REALLY?
Lunch lady: This is scallop.
ALT: See, it's not seal! You liar!
SS teacher: Yes it is! Shii... er, she-ru! Shell! Shell sashimi!
ALT: ......
SS teacher, trashed and having revealed at some point during the night that he studied French at university: Elizabeth sensei, je t'aime!
ALT: Yeah yeah whatever, if you love me so much pour me another drink dammit.
Everyone: EHHHHHH??? WAKANNAI!
ALT: Never mind.
SS teacher: No! Tell me! Talk slowly!
ALT: If you love me so much, pour me another drink.
SS teacher: Eh?
ALT: (miming and speaking extremely slowly) SI TU M'AIME... POUR me (miming pouring)... a DRINK (pushing her half-full beer glass to SS teacher)
SS teacher: ...Ah! Wakatta! (starts to chug beer)
ALT: NO! NO! NO! NO!*
Math teacher (pouring ALT a drink): You idiot.
(waiting at the station)
PE teacher: So, you are staying with friend?
ALT: Yeah.
PE teacher: Male friend?
ALT: Yeah.
PE teacher: Boyfriend?
ALT: Um, no, he's gay.
(about five minutes later, after the conversation has moved on)
PE teacher: So, you are staying with boyfriend?
ALT: You didn't understand gay?
PE teacher: No, I understand! Gay is a man who loves another man!
ALT: Right.
PE teacher: But... but... men are monster!
ALT: Then what about you?
PE teacher: Me? I am gentleman!
*only other ALTs will understand why it took such a tremendous effort of will not to change this line to "OH NO! MY BEER!"
8.21.2010
Exploring
I've been horrible about updating my blog, and it's been brought to my attention that half the people I gave the address to think it's broken because there haven't been any updates. Sorry! Today is the first day I've had completely to myself since arriving, I think. All the other ALTs went to the nearby island for a weekend festival. I'm all alone, with all the free time in the world and money in my wallet because I just got paid, and man does it feel goooooood.
First off, some everyday stuff.
This is where I live. I'm the house on the far right, with the car parked in front. The other three belong to other ALTs.
I don't want to post pictures of the inside until I've bought some more furniture and generally made everything look nicer, but I absolutely love the house--it has four rooms (entryway, kitchen, living room and bedroom), traditional Japanese-style, with sliding doors, shoji screens and two tatami rooms.
To take advantage of my first free day in a month, I decided to go explore some random forest paths that I had noticed on my drive into town.
After that I took another path that connected to the one I was on. It only ended up leading to a graveyard, but it was a hell of a hike, so after getting some katsu curry I pretty much spent the rest of the day hanging out at home reading and getting some much-needed rest.
8.03.2010
AUGH
So I've been in Japan for almost a week and a half, and haven't posted a thing here. I KNOW. Turns out I severely underestimated how overwhelming it would be to, you know, move to another country. Practically every move I made for the first week was carefully coordinated and choreographed by others, and when I had a spare moment to myself you damn well better believe I spent it passed out on my futon. I have about an hour before I have to go to bed tonight and I'd rather spend it watching Orange Days than updating my blog, but here are a bunch of pictures, at least. Since that's all you all really come here for anyway. Right?
View from my hotel room on the first night. This was pretty much how Tokyo made me feel.
AWESOME PEOPLE HAVING AWESOME TIMES
View from my hotel room on the first night. This was pretty much how Tokyo made me feel.
AWESOME PEOPLE HAVING AWESOME TIMES
SHIBUYA
WHAT
This is roughly what EVERYTHING EVER looks like around my place, which results in me getting lost a lot. Joetsu/Takada/Naoetsu is actually a legitimate city, though, which surprised me after some of the descriptions that I've heard.
Kakizaki Beach, where I ended up roughly 45 minutes after dropping my stuff off at my new apartment. Believe me, I have learned a thing or two about pacing myself since then.
AUUUUGHHHHHHHHHH
I just had dinner (pasta with spinach and some funky cheese I found--I promise I'll never again make fun of those people who get all their food imported), at my own table, in my own kitchen. My apartment is absolutely fantastic, but I don't want to post a video until after I'm done cleaning and decorating. It's going a lot faster now after the realization that I can just throw everything in the storage space beneath the house.
More soon!
7.19.2010
Oakland
Didn't take a single picture while I was in San Francisco, doh. But here's one of picturesque Lake Merritt in Oakland, and Merritt Restaurant, where Ryan's family has been going for generations (Ryan's Gung-gung used to take his mom and her siblings to eat there when she was a little girl). Oakland is a lovely city and I will bus fight anyone who says otherwise.
7.18.2010
Bergamot Station
I realize I already made a post basically saying I was done with LA, but here's one more for you: on Wednesday, Kelsey and I went to Bergamot Station!
Bergamot Station is an arts center and gallery complex in Santa Monica. It used to be a light rail station (where bergamot flourished, hence the name), then a warehouse complex, and then it was abandoned and the city developed it into what it is now. It has a really cool, industrial vibe. Each gallery is completely independent, so there are all kinds of art--photography, sculpture, painting, landscapes, abstract art, portraits.
(Side note: I generally hate coffee house food but the roast beef sandwich I had at the cafe was REALLY GOOD. Cheap, too!)
It's also dog-friendly... a lot of the galleries even had their own dog.
Sophie here was the sweetest! (I love black pugs!)
After Bergamot Station we ended up heading to Abbot Kinney, which is a shopping area in Santa Monica. A lot of the stores are in old houses that have been renovated, which is pretty cool, but this store took it to the next level by keeping all the rooms intact. There were aprons and cooking supplies for sale in the kitchen, and this awesome display of sea-related goodies (including lots of mermaids) in the bathroom!
We ended up hanging out pretty late that night, but eventually I had to say my first goodbye :( Kelsey and her family have been such a huge support since I moved to LA. I always have the best adventures with her because she knows where to go--even all the way back when I visited Ryan in LA, I wasn't sure I could live here until I met up with Kelsey and she took me shopping on Melrose. Her mom has had us over for many delicious dinners (and sent us home with leftover frozen dinners she had made for the cast and crew of Bri's film Gut-to-Go, which saved my life several times, especially during interviews).
Also, two tangentially related things (okay, one is actually completely unrelated). Speaking of Gut-to-Go: Ryan and I ended up being quite involved in production, and now it's finished and about to premiere. Bri did a fantastic job and is now reaping the rewards of her hard work: she's worked with some big names, was interviewed and featured on ABC News, has been accepted into several film festivals, and was nominated for the Best Actress award at the AOF Film Festival for her performance! Here's the link to her news page again--maybe it'll be playing at a film festival near you!
On a much less exciting note, I've been copy editing for Hyphen magazine for a little over a year now, but the next issue (on newsstands August 15--look for ukulele player Jake Shimabukuro on the cover) will be my last, and they've decided to feature me on the contributors page! Check it out if you get the chance; my "most memorable Hyphen moment" is pretty lolworthy.
Bergamot Station is an arts center and gallery complex in Santa Monica. It used to be a light rail station (where bergamot flourished, hence the name), then a warehouse complex, and then it was abandoned and the city developed it into what it is now. It has a really cool, industrial vibe. Each gallery is completely independent, so there are all kinds of art--photography, sculpture, painting, landscapes, abstract art, portraits.
(Side note: I generally hate coffee house food but the roast beef sandwich I had at the cafe was REALLY GOOD. Cheap, too!)
It's also dog-friendly... a lot of the galleries even had their own dog.
Sophie here was the sweetest! (I love black pugs!)
She desperately wanted something in Kelsey's purse. We eventually realized it was her gum, haha.
After Bergamot Station we ended up heading to Abbot Kinney, which is a shopping area in Santa Monica. A lot of the stores are in old houses that have been renovated, which is pretty cool, but this store took it to the next level by keeping all the rooms intact. There were aprons and cooking supplies for sale in the kitchen, and this awesome display of sea-related goodies (including lots of mermaids) in the bathroom!
We ended up hanging out pretty late that night, but eventually I had to say my first goodbye :( Kelsey and her family have been such a huge support since I moved to LA. I always have the best adventures with her because she knows where to go--even all the way back when I visited Ryan in LA, I wasn't sure I could live here until I met up with Kelsey and she took me shopping on Melrose. Her mom has had us over for many delicious dinners (and sent us home with leftover frozen dinners she had made for the cast and crew of Bri's film Gut-to-Go, which saved my life several times, especially during interviews).
Also, two tangentially related things (okay, one is actually completely unrelated). Speaking of Gut-to-Go: Ryan and I ended up being quite involved in production, and now it's finished and about to premiere. Bri did a fantastic job and is now reaping the rewards of her hard work: she's worked with some big names, was interviewed and featured on ABC News, has been accepted into several film festivals, and was nominated for the Best Actress award at the AOF Film Festival for her performance! Here's the link to her news page again--maybe it'll be playing at a film festival near you!
On a much less exciting note, I've been copy editing for Hyphen magazine for a little over a year now, but the next issue (on newsstands August 15--look for ukulele player Jake Shimabukuro on the cover) will be my last, and they've decided to feature me on the contributors page! Check it out if you get the chance; my "most memorable Hyphen moment" is pretty lolworthy.
7.14.2010
Workshops they would offer at Tokyo Orientation if I was in any way representative of this year's JET noobs
- Life as a halfie yonsei JET: Getting used to making really long explanations involving visual aids and family trees
- Financial Matters for REALLY STUPID people
- Sorta-mid-level-intermediate-but-actually-you-skipped-everything-in-the-textbook-that-had-to-do-with-numbers-or-kanji Japanese
- Advanced Cockblocking
- Inaka Life: HELL YEAH!
7.12.2010
New layout! (sort of)
If you're reading this on my blog's main page, you might notice a few differences. Hella Angeleno is now Hella 日本 (that's "Nihon" or "Japan" for the majority of you reading my blog), and the layout has changed! I'm not 100% sure about all this floral nonsense, but all the solid colors I tried made my blog look like the website for the historical society, so for now it stays. I suppose that is a risk of using this particular photo in the header... it's not exactly, you know, edgy. But too bad, I'm keeping it!
Speaking of the photo--it was taken sometime in the 1950s in Niigata, Japan. The lady on the right is my great-grandmother, Shige Sakuma. You can't tell from the cropped version, but in the original photo it's clear that she's the American visitor, with a nice bag and shoes. I have no idea who the other people in the photo are.
I don't know if any of you have read the book Everything is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer (or seen the movie with Elijah Wood, which is probably more likely), but I suddenly find myself in the same position as the "hero" of that book. He's full of romantic visions of his family history; he steps off a plane in the country of his ancestors, with only a black-and-white photograph to guide him--and is immediately greeted by a flatulent dog and a guide whose English he can barely understand. No one is interested in his family; they just want to know if everyone in America is rich and has a giant penis, and require multiple explanations when he asks for a vegetarian dish in a restaurant (he ends up with potatoes). As crazy as it sounds, this is what I want--to bring my connection with Japan into the present, no matter how mundane or absurd the results. I'm not interested in lying to people about my "samurai ancestors"; I want to see rice fields.
(And rice fields I shall see. Hooray inaka!)
Speaking of the photo--it was taken sometime in the 1950s in Niigata, Japan. The lady on the right is my great-grandmother, Shige Sakuma. You can't tell from the cropped version, but in the original photo it's clear that she's the American visitor, with a nice bag and shoes. I have no idea who the other people in the photo are.
I don't know if any of you have read the book Everything is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer (or seen the movie with Elijah Wood, which is probably more likely), but I suddenly find myself in the same position as the "hero" of that book. He's full of romantic visions of his family history; he steps off a plane in the country of his ancestors, with only a black-and-white photograph to guide him--and is immediately greeted by a flatulent dog and a guide whose English he can barely understand. No one is interested in his family; they just want to know if everyone in America is rich and has a giant penis, and require multiple explanations when he asks for a vegetarian dish in a restaurant (he ends up with potatoes). As crazy as it sounds, this is what I want--to bring my connection with Japan into the present, no matter how mundane or absurd the results. I'm not interested in lying to people about my "samurai ancestors"; I want to see rice fields.
(And rice fields I shall see. Hooray inaka!)
7.10.2010
Los Angeles: A post-mortem
I've lived in Los Angeles for 6 full months now. 6 months and 24 days, by the time I leave for Japan on the 24th. I'm working on transitioning in order to make this blog into my Japan Blog(tm), but Hella Angeleno's original purpose was to document my LA experience, my first big move to a new city. So what did I get out of the whole thing?
I think a lot about the part of Elizabeth Gilbert's "Eat, Pray, Love" where she says that each person and each city has one word that describes their way of life. (In Rome, where she is first introduced to this theory, the word is SEX, in New York, it's ACHIEVE.) If your word doesn't match the word in your city, you're in for a lot of frustration and disappointment. I don't know what my word is, or LA's word, but I do know that this city and I don't match up on a fundamental level.
People come here to make it big. In San Francisco, most of the people I knew were from the Bay Area, with a few from Southern California and fewer still from other parts of the US. (These last ones were mostly gay people, who seemed in general to be willing to travel farther for the kind of freedom San Francisco affords.) Here, everyone is from the Midwest, from Toronto, from New York, from Honduras. Everyone--EVERYONE--is in the entertainment industry, whether as a writer, a production assistant, a producer, an office drone, a coffee-fetching intern. When the guy next to you at a coffee shop is working on his laptop and you glance over at his screen, nine times out of ten, he'll be working on a screenplay. At my old Gap store, my coworkers were mostly students; here, they're actors.
There are a lot of things I hate about LA. I hate how far apart everything is and how you have to drive to get anywhere. I hate the billboards for crap movies that no one in their right mind would want to watch. I hate the idiots lining up for American Idol (though I love American Idol). I hate how no one can stay in their fucking lane when they drive.
But to be honest, the reason I was so unhappy in the beginning wasn't because of those things, or even because of the disconnect between my way of life and the LA mindset. There was a lot of dumb luck involved, too. It rained for about a week straight when I got here. Then I got sick for a week; then it rained for another week. I couldn't find real work no matter how many resumes I sent out, and my retail coworkers were unfriendly and hostile.
There are some things I like about LA, things that wouldn't necessarily make me want to live here all on their own, but that are pleasant enough, since I'm here anyway. I like the jacaranda trees and magnolia trees and bougainvillea and honeysuckle and yes, on a good day I even appreciate the palm trees. I like the cute 50's style homes in my neighborhood. I like Melrose and Santa Monica and Silverlake and Hollywood.
And then there are things that make me think I've been wrong about this city. The main branch library, with its cozy workstations and wealth of books. The Kogi truck (seriously). Most importantly, Little Tokyo and the Japanese American community. It's so different from the community I'm used to in San Francisco. There, I sat in a stuffy back room transcribing interviews with people who had been in the internment camps; here, I handed out parking validations at a Jero concert and poured drinks for VIPs who had donated $10,000 or more to the organization I was volunteering for. I still can't quite believe how sleek and well-funded everything is (for example, the Japanese American National Museum). But despite these differences, volunteering in Little Tokyo was the one thing that made me feel at home in LA, and the one time when I met people I could really relate to. When I think about it, it even makes me look forward to coming back.
I won't lie--I'm still a little sad that I'm going to be coming back here, and not to San Francisco, when I finish JET. But I think I'll be better prepared this time. I know where to go when I'm homesick, and where to avoid (I'm looking at you, The Grove). I'll have a built-in network in JETAASC, and a more detailed plan than "get a job that is not at Gap." I'll have savings instead of debt, and Japanese language skills (useful for volunteering, getting random admin jobs, and talking to old ladies, who totally make my day).
You and me, we might not get along, but we're not through yet, LA. I'll see you around, and you better be ready for me.
7.08.2010
Presented without commentary
A year ago, probably bored out of my skull at work, I wrote myself an email using futureme.org. It arrived in my inbox this morning.
...I'm writing this from my desk in the Diversity Office, and I'm entering an uncertain phase in my life. Ryan moved to LA a week ago, and since then I've been filling the time: learning Japanese again, transcribing interviews for the historical society, copy editing for Hyphen, watching Sex and the City, reading Anais Nin, writing in my journal, attempting to hammer out a short story. And of course driving myself crazy trying to decide whether to go on JET or not, whether to move to LA in January, etc, etc, as if I can even make these decisions right now. I think I just want to be imagining something other than this cubicle, but I am happy now, even if I constantly want to be moving on to the next thing. I hope by 2010 you've learned to breathe and take things as they come. It is not a skill I have at this point in time.
I hope you and Ryan are still doing okay with this long-distance thing (assuming it is still long-distance). That's what really kills me—I can wait to know about JET, and my career and all that, but knowing that I'm taking a risk on what I have with him by possibly leaving for Japan for a year makes me question whether it's worth it. This is something I've always wanted to do, but right now, I just wanna live with him and come home to him every day.
I hope all these concerns seem silly to you as you read this, that you've long since worked out everything you need to worry about. That's why I'm really looking forward to being you—even in the worst case scenario, by July 2010, everything will be certain. In fact, if I think about it, the only situation where things will still be uncertain when you get this email is the one I want the most. If you're going on JET right now and still with Ryan, you're probably scared to death about what will happen. I hope Japan is worth prolonging that anxiety and uncertainty for another year. I think it is.
It is, Past Me, it is.
...I'm writing this from my desk in the Diversity Office, and I'm entering an uncertain phase in my life. Ryan moved to LA a week ago, and since then I've been filling the time: learning Japanese again, transcribing interviews for the historical society, copy editing for Hyphen, watching Sex and the City, reading Anais Nin, writing in my journal, attempting to hammer out a short story. And of course driving myself crazy trying to decide whether to go on JET or not, whether to move to LA in January, etc, etc, as if I can even make these decisions right now. I think I just want to be imagining something other than this cubicle, but I am happy now, even if I constantly want to be moving on to the next thing. I hope by 2010 you've learned to breathe and take things as they come. It is not a skill I have at this point in time.
I hope you and Ryan are still doing okay with this long-distance thing (assuming it is still long-distance). That's what really kills me—I can wait to know about JET, and my career and all that, but knowing that I'm taking a risk on what I have with him by possibly leaving for Japan for a year makes me question whether it's worth it. This is something I've always wanted to do, but right now, I just wanna live with him and come home to him every day.
I hope all these concerns seem silly to you as you read this, that you've long since worked out everything you need to worry about. That's why I'm really looking forward to being you—even in the worst case scenario, by July 2010, everything will be certain. In fact, if I think about it, the only situation where things will still be uncertain when you get this email is the one I want the most. If you're going on JET right now and still with Ryan, you're probably scared to death about what will happen. I hope Japan is worth prolonging that anxiety and uncertainty for another year. I think it is.
It is, Past Me, it is.
7.04.2010
I climbed out of the Gap
And may I never have to work retail again.
(Actually, I still have 3 days left, which is why I went for the picture of John Krasinski instead of one of them typical Gap ads with the healthy-looking people in matchy sweaters. I was given 8 hours after I gave my two weeks notice, my budget is all thrown off, I'll have to go out of my way to pick up that pathetic paycheck on my last day in the United States, and I'm a little grumpy right now and could use the cheering up.)
6.29.2010
誕生日おめでとう
Last year my birthday was my first day of Japanese class at Soko Gakuen.* I was in Beginning 3.
This year, my birthday was the day of LA's pre-departure orientation for departing JETs. I got to dress up,
and eat a fancy lunch with people from my region in Japan (including two going to Niigata Prefecture).
Sometimes it doesn't feel like I'm moving forward at all in life, but sometimes I'm surprised by how far I've come. 25 days till Japan.
*I highly recommend Soko Gakuen for anyone wanting to learn Japanese in San Francisco! The books they use (Basic Functional Japanese and Situational Functional Japanese) are a little ridiculous, but the class sizes are quite small (7-12 people) and the teachers are great. They're quite reasonably priced, and not nearly as overwhelming as the 5-unit classes at CCSF and SFSU, for people who want to learn but aren't able to devote their ENTIRE LIFE to studying.
This year, my birthday was the day of LA's pre-departure orientation for departing JETs. I got to dress up,
and eat a fancy lunch with people from my region in Japan (including two going to Niigata Prefecture).
Sometimes it doesn't feel like I'm moving forward at all in life, but sometimes I'm surprised by how far I've come. 25 days till Japan.
*I highly recommend Soko Gakuen for anyone wanting to learn Japanese in San Francisco! The books they use (Basic Functional Japanese and Situational Functional Japanese) are a little ridiculous, but the class sizes are quite small (7-12 people) and the teachers are great. They're quite reasonably priced, and not nearly as overwhelming as the 5-unit classes at CCSF and SFSU, for people who want to learn but aren't able to devote their ENTIRE LIFE to studying.
6.14.2010
Whenever I get a card from someone I haven't spoken with in a while, I can usually tell before I open it if my parents have already told them I'm going to Japan.
My aunt makes beautiful cards like this one by hand. I think I'm going to use the crane ribbon as a bookmark.
The package also included some stationery to keep in touch. First assignment: write to my dad to get him to stop laughing at my aunt.
Japan is becoming more and more real every day. I just received a welcome letter from the Joetsu Board of Education--including me, there are 8 new ALTs coming to the city this year and they haven't figured out our specific assignments yet, but they said it should come in the next week or so. Pre-departure orientation is in two weeks (on my birthday!), and I'll be putting in my two weeks' notice at work soon after that. I'm buying clothes for school and starting to think about packing. Everything is coming together.
My aunt makes beautiful cards like this one by hand. I think I'm going to use the crane ribbon as a bookmark.
The package also included some stationery to keep in touch. First assignment: write to my dad to get him to stop laughing at my aunt.
Japan is becoming more and more real every day. I just received a welcome letter from the Joetsu Board of Education--including me, there are 8 new ALTs coming to the city this year and they haven't figured out our specific assignments yet, but they said it should come in the next week or so. Pre-departure orientation is in two weeks (on my birthday!), and I'll be putting in my two weeks' notice at work soon after that. I'm buying clothes for school and starting to think about packing. Everything is coming together.
5.29.2010
A couple more pictures of Joetsu
I found out that I'll be teaching at one junior high school, and probably also visit several elementary schools on a regular basis, which sounds pretty much perfect!
5.28.2010
This post puts the HELLA in HELLA ANGELENO
My graduation ceremony was on Sunday, so I got to spend a couple days in the city with Ray and Vy this week. Half off pizza night at Pizza Orgasmica and dim sum at Golden River were on the top of my to-do list.
Counterclockwise from top left: ha gow (shrimp dumplings), chive dumplings (on Vy's plate; they are very garlicky and my new favorite dim sum dish), chashu bao, noh mai gai (lotus leaf-wrapped sticky rice with chicken and Chinese sausage), hahm seui go (the dish that unfortunately has no English name, so they'll call it "meat dumpling" or "meat turnover" but then half the time you order the meat dumpling and it's a DIFFERENT meat dumpling and then you're like DAMMIT I WANTED CRISPY GOOEY GOODNESS), and... a different kind of shrimp dumpling, can't remember what it was called. The ones in the middle are yet another shrimp dumpling. Apparently Ryan asked a friend of ours who lives in LA Chinatown where to get good dim sum and he said there wasn't any (!!!), so I had to stuff myself in preparation for my return to the godless south.
After lunch we headed to Vital Tea Leaf in Chinatown to be screamed at and served tea by Uncle Gee (no relation to the other Gee we all know and love). As we approached the store he was busy trying to convince some tourists that his tea would make them sexy, so I walked up and said "We don't NEED to be any sexier, but can we have some tea?" which I'm pretty sure made me a prime target for his teasing the rest of the time we were there since I eventually ended up in a chokehold. This time there were some elderly tourists from Arkansas next to us, and seeing him play to them kind of ruined the effect, like when you're taken in by a magic trick but then the magician shows the trick to someone else and you see right through it. But I'd still recommend this place to anyone hitting up Chinatown--it's a comedy routine that comes with a sampler of 10-12 gourmet teas, free of charge.
(A note on photo quality: As we strolled around taking pictures Ray said he was thinking of buying a real camera so he wouldn't have to use his cell phone, and asked how many megapixels mine was. I looked at the sticker on the camera and said "Uh, 2.0?" He laughed and said his PHONE was 8 megapixels. I got this camera for my 17th birthday. I have no plans to upgrade. Deal with it.)
One of my favorite things about San Francisco is the views down side streets--everything is so packed together that there are unexpected glimpses of things wherever you go. Sometimes it's the Bay Bridge:
Other times the Transamerica Building or the Ferry Building:
One of the dangers of living in a place like this is that you start to think you're the center of the world. Even when I lived four blocks from the Pacific Ocean and would walk down there every day to bask in its immensity, I still knew that the city was at my back, beautiful and funky and free and alive at all hours of the day and night. I can't even begin to explain it--I was a little person in a big city, but I was so connected to it that I felt like I was the city, and nothing outside of it mattered. (Ever seen this New Yorker cover?) But I'm moving on again, and this time I want to feel small.
Counterclockwise from top left: ha gow (shrimp dumplings), chive dumplings (on Vy's plate; they are very garlicky and my new favorite dim sum dish), chashu bao, noh mai gai (lotus leaf-wrapped sticky rice with chicken and Chinese sausage), hahm seui go (the dish that unfortunately has no English name, so they'll call it "meat dumpling" or "meat turnover" but then half the time you order the meat dumpling and it's a DIFFERENT meat dumpling and then you're like DAMMIT I WANTED CRISPY GOOEY GOODNESS), and... a different kind of shrimp dumpling, can't remember what it was called. The ones in the middle are yet another shrimp dumpling. Apparently Ryan asked a friend of ours who lives in LA Chinatown where to get good dim sum and he said there wasn't any (!!!), so I had to stuff myself in preparation for my return to the godless south.
After lunch we headed to Vital Tea Leaf in Chinatown to be screamed at and served tea by Uncle Gee (no relation to the other Gee we all know and love). As we approached the store he was busy trying to convince some tourists that his tea would make them sexy, so I walked up and said "We don't NEED to be any sexier, but can we have some tea?" which I'm pretty sure made me a prime target for his teasing the rest of the time we were there since I eventually ended up in a chokehold. This time there were some elderly tourists from Arkansas next to us, and seeing him play to them kind of ruined the effect, like when you're taken in by a magic trick but then the magician shows the trick to someone else and you see right through it. But I'd still recommend this place to anyone hitting up Chinatown--it's a comedy routine that comes with a sampler of 10-12 gourmet teas, free of charge.
(A note on photo quality: As we strolled around taking pictures Ray said he was thinking of buying a real camera so he wouldn't have to use his cell phone, and asked how many megapixels mine was. I looked at the sticker on the camera and said "Uh, 2.0?" He laughed and said his PHONE was 8 megapixels. I got this camera for my 17th birthday. I have no plans to upgrade. Deal with it.)
One of my favorite things about San Francisco is the views down side streets--everything is so packed together that there are unexpected glimpses of things wherever you go. Sometimes it's the Bay Bridge:
Other times the Transamerica Building or the Ferry Building:
One of the dangers of living in a place like this is that you start to think you're the center of the world. Even when I lived four blocks from the Pacific Ocean and would walk down there every day to bask in its immensity, I still knew that the city was at my back, beautiful and funky and free and alive at all hours of the day and night. I can't even begin to explain it--I was a little person in a big city, but I was so connected to it that I felt like I was the city, and nothing outside of it mattered. (Ever seen this New Yorker cover?) But I'm moving on again, and this time I want to feel small.
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